Category: So Laugh Already
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
The ever-hilarious Neal Pollack puts the whole "where are the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction" debate into perspective in his latest missive:
My personal opinion is that the weapons were used during the war, but that they're very slow-acting. Approximately six months from now, all Americans who were in the Middle East during Operation Iraqi Freedom will begin feeling a mild itching on their skin, which will grow more intense over a matter of days, until they are wracked with agony, and then they will begin vomiting up clear yellow liquid. Soon, their brains will cease to function, and they will become zombie-like and begin eating their children. That's only in the first 28 days. If the infection spreads, all of civilization could be in danger.
How do I know this? From a special group of intellectuals housed in the basement of the Pentagon... [t]he President's wimpy adversaries have no access to this intelligence.
Makes sense to me!
Except where otherwise noted, all content on this site is provided under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike license.
If you think anything I write here represents the opinions of anybody but myself, you need more help than I can give you. The opinions are all mine, folks. Nobody else's.
If that's too hard to understand... well, I'm sorry. There's only so much I can do. I'm not a therapist, and I'm not a miracle worker. I wish I could help you work through your delusional belief that I'm speaking for anyone else but myself. Honestly, I do. But in the end, that's a monkey you'll have to get off your back on your own. Sorry.
Leave a comment