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I Love Spam

Category: Random Observations Bin

Monday, September 15, 2003

Actual subject lines of spam messages in my inbox this morning, and my reactions:

I have a secret, someone likes you.
Yes, judging by the evidence, that's a fairly well-kept secret!
Are you a junky?
If I was, would I need you to tell me?
Can I make it up to you?
No.
Instant nookie, quick acting V i a g r a (GV-ProMax)
I suppose for some guys, if you got one, you would need the other...

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If you think anything I write here represents the opinions of anybody but myself, you need more help than I can give you. The opinions are all mine, folks. Nobody else's.

If that's too hard to understand... well, I'm sorry. There's only so much I can do. I'm not a therapist, and I'm not a miracle worker. I wish I could help you work through your delusional belief that I'm speaking for anyone else but myself. Honestly, I do. But in the end, that's a monkey you'll have to get off your back on your own. Sorry.